Qur'an 4:34--Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret what Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great. (Pickthall)
There are, of course, two extremes that should be avoided when we attempt to interpret this verse. On one extreme, some men may hold that they are free to beat their wives as often and as brutally as they like. This is not the case. On the other extreme, Muslim apologists often claim that Islamic wife-beatings are to be painless. This is simply absurd, given what the Muslim sources plainly declare.
In this post, we will observe the claims of Muslim scholars on the issue of wife-beating. We will then look at what some Muslim sources have to say on this issue, and why there have always been violent wife-beatings in Islam.
MUSLIM SCHOLARS ON WIFE-BEATING
This Muslim scholar tells Muslims that they shouldn't be ashamed about the Islamic practice of wife-beating. He declares that there are three types of women that a man can only live with if he carries a rod on his shoulder: (1) women who are accustomed to beating because their parents constantly beat them, (2) women who are condescending towards their husbands, and (3) women who will not obey their husbands.
According to the next Muslim scholar, the restrictions on beating one's wife are: (1) he must not do it in front of the children; (2) he must not cause bleeding, bruising, or broken bones; and (3) he should not hit her in the face.
According our next scholar, (1) a man should not beat his wife in the face, (2) he should not beat her where the beating will leave marks, (3) he should not beat her on her hands, and (4) "he should not beat her like he would beat an animal or a child--smacking them right and left."
The following scholar agrees with much of the above discussion. He adds that "beatings are indispensable."
So far we can see (1) that Muslim scholars rightly acknowledge that Islam permits wife-beating, and (2) that Muslims should follow certain rules when they beat their wives.
MUSLIM SOURCES ON WIFE-BEATING
The problem I have with some of the comments made by these Muslim scholars is that I can't find much of what they say in reliable Muslim sources. Indeed, the Muslim sources often indicate a quite different position from the ones we've seen.
For instance, consider the occasion on which Surah 4:34 was revealed. According to al-Tabari:
It was said that this verse was revealed because a man hit his wife on her face, so she came to the prophet (saw). The prophet then wanted to judge in her favor. But Allah revealed {Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others}. Then the prophet called on the man and recited this verse to him and said: "I wanted one thing, but Allah wanted another."
So a man hit his wife in the face, and she went to Muhammad for justice. Muhammad was about to judge in her favor, but Allah defended the man with Surah 4:34. How, then, can Muslims say that men may not hit their wives in the face, when 4:34 was revealed to defend a man who had hit his wife in the face? (Note: There is some support in Muslim sources for the claim that men shouldn't hit their wives in the face. However, as we've seen, the evidence is far from conclusive on this point.)
It's also difficult to see how Muslims can so confidently claim that men may not leave marks when they beat their wives, especially when we read about a man leaving a mark on his wife in Sahih al-Bukhari!
Sahih al-Bukhari 5825—Narrated Ikrima: Rifaa divorced his wife whereupon Abdur-Rahman married her. Aisha said that the lady came wearing a green veil and complained to her (Aisha) and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah’s messenger came, Aisha said, “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!” When Abdur-Rahman heard that his wife had gone to the prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, “By Allah! I have done no wrong to him, but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this,” holding and showing the fringe of her garment. Abdur-Rahman said, “By Allah, O Allah’s messenger! She has told a lie. I am very strong and can satisfy her, but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifaa.” Allah's messenger said to her, “If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifaa unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you.” The prophet saw two boys with Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), “Are these your sons?” On that Abdur-Rahman said, “Yes.” The prophet said, “You claim what you claim (that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow.”
(Notice Aisha's claim that Muslim women were suffering more than pagan women.)
Even more disturbing is the fact that there are situations where a man may murder the mother of his own children!
Sunan Abu Dawud 4348— Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: A blind man had a slave-mother who used to abuse the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and disparage him. He forbade her but she did not stop. He rebuked her but she did not give up her habit. One night she began to slander the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and abuse him. So he took a dagger, placed it on her belly, pressed it, and killed her. A child who came between her legs was smeared with the blood that was there. When the morning came, the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) was informed about it.
He assembled the people and said: I adjure by Allah the man who has done this action and I adjure him by my right to him that he should stand up. Jumping over the necks of the people and trembling the man stood up.
He sat before the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: Apostle of Allah! I am her master; she used to abuse you and disparage you. I forbade her, but she did not stop, and I rebuked her, but she did not abandon her habit. I have two sons like pearls from her, and she was my companion. Last night she began to abuse and disparage you. So I took a dagger, put it on her belly and pressed it till I killed her.
Thereupon the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Oh be witness, no retaliation is payable for her blood.
So men may rest assured that murdering one's "companion" is acceptable in certain situations (though this was his slave-girl, not his wife).
Some of the Muslim sources agree with the scholar above who said that beatings are indispensable. For example, beatings are necessary because, without them, women will become emboldened towards their husbands.
Sunan Abu Dawud 2141—Iyas b. Abd Allah b. Abi Dhubab reported the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do not beat Allah’s handmaidens, but when Umar came to the Apostle of Allah and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them. Then many women came round the family of the Apostle of Allah complaining against their husbands. So the Apostle of Allah said: Many women have gone round Muhammad’s family complaining against their husbands. They are not the best among you.
Beyond this, we know that Muhammad, Abu Bakr, and Umar would not hesitate to hurt women.
Sunan Ibn Majah 1986—Ash’ath b. Qais is reported to have said, “One night Umar arranged a feast. When it was midnight, he got up and went towards his wife to beat her. I separated them both. When he went to bed, he said to me, ‘O Ash’ath, preserve from me a thing that I heard from Allah’s messenger. (These things are): A man will not be taken to task for beating his wife (for valid reasons) and do not sleep without observing witr prayer.’ I forgot the third (exhortation).”
Sahih Muslim 2127— . . . When it was my turn for Allah's Messenger to spend the night with me, he turned his side, put on his mantle and took off his shoes and placed them near his feet, and spread the corner of his shawl on his bed and then lay down till he thought that I had gone to sleep. He took hold of his mantle slowly and put on the shoes slowly, and opened the door and went out and then closed it lightly. I covered my head, put on my veil and tightened my waist wrapper, and then went out following his steps till he reached Baqi'. He stood there and he stood for a long time. He then lifted his hands three times, and then returned and I also returned. He hastened his steps and I also hastened my steps. He ran and I too ran. He came (to the house) and I also came (to the house). I, however, preceded him and I entered (the house), and as I lay down in the bed, he (the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O 'Aisha, that you are out of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?…
Sahih Muslim 3506—Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported: Abu Bakr came and sought permission to see Allah's Messenger. He found people sitting at his door and none amongst them had been granted permission, but it was granted to Abu Bakr and he went in. Then came 'Umar and he sought permission and it was granted to him, and he found Allah's Apostle sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: I would say something which would make the Holy Prophet laugh, so he said: Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen (the treatment meted out to) the daughter of Kharija when she asked me some money, and I got up and slapped her on her neck. Allah's Messenger laughed and said: They are around me as you see, asking for extra money. Abu Bakr then got up went to 'Aisha and slapped her on the neck, and 'Umar stood up before Hafsa and slapped her saying: You ask Allah's Messenger which he does not possess. They said: By Allah, we do not ask Allah's Messenger for anything he does not possess. . . .
Sahih al-Bukhari 6845—Narrated Aisha: Abu Bakr came to towards me and struck me violently with his fist and said, "You have detained the people because of your necklace." But I remained motionless as if I was dead lest I should awake Allah's Apostle although that hit was very painful.
Putting all of this together, what do we have? The Qur'an is quite unclear as to how beatings should be performed, and most of the world's Muslims don't have copies of the necessary commentaries lying around. The result is that many Muslims are only aware of the fact that they may beat their wives, not of the fact that there are certain limitations. The result is awful. Let's consider a few examples.
WIFE-BEATING IN THE REAL WORLD
In this debate on wife-beating, a woman reports her research on wife-beating practices.
In our next video, Rania al-Baz discusses a beating her husband gave her. (Note: Her husband did not follow the advice of the scholars above.)
The husband of the twelve-year-old girl in the following video obviously doesn't follow the rules either:
Many are already familiar with the story of ten-year-old Nujood Ali, whose husband beat and raped her.
In this next video, two women discuss an instance of wife-beating, and they compare women in the West with women in the Muslim world.
I'm not sure how Muslims can offer a remotely compelling response to the facts here. In the book that would spread around the world as the heart of Islam, Allah declared that men may beat their wives. Unfortunately, he didn't clarify how this is to be done in his perfect book. Women have been suffering ever since.
In defense of Islam, here's a video by Khalid Yasin (though I wonder whether he is in touch with reality--the reality of Islamic teachings, and the reality of women in the Muslim world).
Obviously, Khalid must reject Aisha's claim from Sahih al-Bukhari: “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women."
To conclude, let's see how one former Muslim woman responds to the claim that Muslim women love the treatment they receive under Islam.
(Note: There may be some important videos or texts I should add to this post. If anyone, Christian or Muslim, has anything significant to add, I'm open to suggestions.)

