Monday, May 12, 2014

More Side-Splitting Humor From Muhammad

You've heard that Allah has two hands. You've also heard that both of Allah's hands are right hands (if not, see the video at the end). Perhaps you thought that this is where the inanity ends and things couldn't be any more bizarre. Not so fast. Read on...

The following passage of the Qur'an makes reference to Allah's "side".

(Lest) any self should say, "Oh, for (my) regret in that I indeed neglected my duty towards (literally: in the side of) Allah, and decidedly I was one of the scoffers." (S. 39:56, Muhammad Mahmoud Ghali translation)

A number of Muslims, such as Abu 'Abd Allah ibn Hamid, Qadi Abu Ya'la, Ibn al-Zaghuni, Ibn Khuzayma, et al., have taken this verse literally. Others have not, trumping up one excuse or another.

At least one Muslim was (apparently) so embarrassed by this verse that he changed it in his copy of the Qur'an (q.v. the Qur'an of Hafsa, which alters it to "in God's remembrance," as pointed out by Abdullah bin Hamid Ali in a footnote to Ibn al-Jawzi's The Attributes of God, p. 64.n33). 

The equivalent of this latter practice is found in most English translations of the Qur'an. Whereas other occurrences in the Qur'an of the underlying Arabic word are usually translated as "side" when not referring to Allah, the noun, side, when used for Allah in 39:56, is ordinarily turned into a preposition or verbal phrase or something else entirely. For example, here is Yusuf Ali's translation:

"Lest the soul should (then) say: 'Ah! Woe is me!- In that I neglected (my duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!'

Various justifications (i.e. excuses) for this are offered.

However one comes down on the above issue, there is little question that Allah's side is mentioned in the following hadith. In fact, the following hadith doesn't simply make reference to Allah's side; it makes reference to Allah's sides. And it even goes beyond that to tell us something else. But even this “something else” will hardly be surprising for those who are familiar with the rampant anthropomorphism found in the Qur'an and innumerable ahadith. For those who take into account the fact that Allah is said to have two right hands, while the following will not be surprising, I dare say most will not have thought of extrapolating to this extent.

The following hadith actually tells us that both of Allah's sides are....well, I will just let you see it for yourself:

It has been narrated on the authority of 'Abdullah b. 'Umar that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Behold! the Dispensers of justice will be seated on the pulpits of light beside God, on the right side of the Merciful, Exalted and Glorious. Either side of the Being is the right side both being equally meritorious. (The Dispensers of justice are) those who do justice in their rules, in matters relating to their families and in all that they undertake to do. (Sahih Muslim, 20.4493; *)

As I have said before, given what the Islamic sources teach, the real reason Muslims should have a problem with the Word becoming flesh is not because it is impossible for God to become a man, but because their "god" already is a man-like being, and an odd looking one at that. 

If you missed it before, here is a video discussing another part of Allah’s anatomy.

All right, Muslims. This is your cue. The comments section is open, let the excuses begin.


Radical Moderate said...

Allah is a freak. If he ever became flesh he would be forced to be in the freak show at the circus.

Radical Moderate said...

On another note, check out this British Muslim explaining how Islam spreads.

Baron Eddie said...

Hi Mr. Wood ...

Why do you bother yourself and trying to explain things to our Muslim brothers and sisters!

Just see how 270 young girls got converted to Islam! just like that ...

Maybe you should get some Muslim young girls and take them from their
school and convert them to Christianity!

But wait a minute, that would not make a sense ...

because our Lord Jesus does not teach us to force anyone to the faith.

In the other hand Allah of Islam is pleased with this!

I guess that make sense in Islam! ...

I am already working on making Charts about Muslim population in the world ...

That proves that Islam is the most growing religion in the world ... alright

Dacritic said...

I am beginning to think perhaps one concrete way to educate more people about the real Islam and hopefully stop this flow of forced converts into it (since Jesus did not command us to force people into Christianity so we will not stoop to that level) is to get the next POTUS (the current one ain't going to do it) to realise the danger of the real Islam and speak out about it fervently. The POTUS is regarded by many as the most powerful man (or woman) in the world. As such, he has to be educated about the actual source of the threat of terrorism and other atrocities committed in the name of Islam around the world. But obviously, for him to do that, he would be kicking over the hornet's nest and would really be declaring war on real terrorism, namely Islam. This will in turn make Islam more aggressive and terrorising than ever especially towards the US. I can imagine what this can lead to, but I, for now at least, cannot see what other more direct way can we educate more people about the real Islam and its dangers besides getting the (next) POTUS involved.

Mohamoud Hassan Mohamed said...

if you insult or muck Your God the one who created you then you are not Human and you are out of nature.
All religions has ONE and ONLY Absolute God, who has No END no Beginning.

Carlos said...

Are there some articles produced by answeringmuslim'team about criticizing attributes of Allah especially from Asharis point of view concerning Ashari' metaphorical concept on Allah' hands, eyes&mouth which in opposite with Salafi' literal interpretation ?

The majority of muslims are Asharis so it would create a big blow if answeringmuslims' team would also concentrate to Asharis.

Especially since they are the majority.

Anthony Rogers said...

Hi Carlos,

I have several things in the works that directly confront Ashari and Maturidi views of Allah and his attributes. For now, I would say that the idea that Allah, i.e. the One, has attributes of any sort, even if not anthropomorphic ones, is destructive of unitarianism and only makes sense on a Trinitarian view of God.

At the same time, I don't believe the Islamic sources teach that Allah only has abstract or metaphysical qualities, and that they do attribute to him a face, eyes, hands, etc.. So I think it is relevant to refute Asharis and Maturidis, even if indirectly, by pointing out that their prophet and his companions actually taught an anthropomorphic view of Allah.

For a lengthy argument on this, see my article on Allah's two hands. I go to great lengths to show that Muhammad was not using a figure of speech when ascribing hands to Allah.

Isaac said...

Attn: Mr. Mohamoud Hassan Mohamed,

Please read SHAHI AL-BUKHAR (V2 # 1664) This idol ‘Allah’ was worshipped by the Hums tribe,“We are the people of Allah, we shall not go out of the sanctuary) and his father Abdullah joined the Hums tribe in worship as against the belief of the Grandfather & Uncle (Abdul Mutlib and Abu Talib) who worshipped, ‘Hubal’. He could not convert his own uncle Abu Talib to Islam till his dying moment, because he knew what Mohammed was all about, hence refused to accept his faith, refer Vol. 6: 4772. It is clear to me that he just wanted to promote his father’s pagan faith as against Grandfather & uncle’. The Manaf was another tribe that Mohammed had ties with who worshipped one of 360-idols.
So, my brother in humanity don't link your Allah with the God of Moses. Allah of Mohammad was 1 of360-idols of Mecca and the were all human beings at one stage of their life and they all died. Hence, you believe in a dead god.

Missionholy Francis said...

Did you Know??

Satan is a Left hander?

Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 27, Number 3768

Carlos said...

Thanks @Anthony Rogers

I think the stupidity of Salafis for believing Allah in having two right hands without having the left one is so obvious.

However when I debate the Asharis they also use the same kind of argument to prove Allah can't be metaphorically described.

I sure will wait your articles with excitement