Saturday, June 8, 2013

Will the Real Perverts Please Stand Up?


If you think heaven will be like a great big brothel in the sky, where worthy males will get 70 virgins with “appetizing vaginas,” and where men will have “eternal erections,” you might be a Muslim.

On the other hand, if you read that comment about “eternal erections” and thought Muslims believe they will never go limp in paradise, then you are a pervert and an Islamophobe.

Or so goes the reasoning of Muslim Yahya Snow, who is quite concerned to get the word out. 

At the end of his article, after setting the record straight for all the perverts out there, believing he has shown just how appetizing Islam is, Yahya asks if anyone would like to know more about Islam.

My answer to that question is: “I think you have already told all of us more than we ever wanted to know, but thanks anyways. You might give Hugh Heffner or Larry Flynt a call. I have a hunch they might be interested in what you are offering, though they might be a little put out by the fact that Muhammad thought of it first.”

[I would like to thank Yahya Snow for this eye-opening revelation into what Muslims mean when they call someone a “pervert” and an “Islamophobe.” I am now a lot more comfortable accepting those labels.]

17 comments:

Radical Moderate said...

Well I for one am no longer embarrassed by Muslims eternal erection and the appetizing vaginas.

Thanks Snowman.

Anthony Rogers said...

I would hate for Yahya to call me a pervert, so I should probably add that I left something out. Yahya did not limit the number of women Muslims will get in paradise to 70. He also said they will get the wives they had while on earth.

Tom ta tum Tom said...

Well, now it all makes sense. Instead of 72 virgins, or 72 white raisins, or even 72 VERSIONS (of the un-holy koran, the a-hateIths and the sewera of Mohammed - through which the shahids can scour for all eternity), we now learn - at last - from noted Islamic Scholar "Gitcha, Gitcha Yahya" Snow that the REAL meaning of Islamic paradise is ..., Tinker Toys!

Who would have guessed? No WONDER the martyrs are so desperate to die! Tinker Toys and Lego Blocks and Lincoln Logs FOR. EVER.!! ETERNAL ERECTOR SETS!!

And in their paradise, instead of signs saying "See Rock City", the billboards and barn-sides will say "SEE the Tinker Toy Taj Mahal!" and "Don't Miss the Lincoln Log Luxor!"

(Personally, I most regret that I'm gonna miss the Islamic Paradise's Lego Block "BABEL, City to put Allah in his place!!") But what a WONDERFUL paradise filled with miniaturized roadside attractions!!

[Sigh] I wonder if there'll be model trains? If Yahya can prove from the koran that there will be model trains in the Islamic Paradise, I may just become a shahid...

"lā ilāha illā l-Ego Bhlohkks..."

KAFIR AND PROUD!!

gabriella oak said...

I doubt even his allocated houris could bear to put up with Yahya Snow's miserable countenance for all eternity, never mind being the recipients of his ever-ready erections.

mikeyh428 said...

Geez, I'm going to have to add a parental control feature on these blogs!

Speaking of getting your wives paradise (assuming they manage to escape the hell fire since most women go there), what about those that their right hands possess? Do they get their sex slaves in paradise too? What about ex-wives? Oh wait, those probably did not make it to paradise as they were obviously bad wives since they were divorced.

GreekAsianPanda said...

I'm kind of glad the real heaven is sexless. Sex is great and all, but it's kind of unnecessary in the afterlife; the pleasure of sex is evolutionary and meant to encourage reproduction. The notion that sex is a supreme form of happiness worthy of being the central attraction to a good afterlife is laughable in the face of a holy God for whom the Kingdom of Heaven exists--God is all the comfort and happiness one will need after death.

bob said...

It does not matter how they try to repackage it, it is still all adultery and fornication, which makes Islam part of the great 'Babylon,’ or antichristian world system...

“...which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.” Revelation 11:8 (Sodom [loose morals] and Egypt [pagan practices])

“Babylon the great, the mother of prostitutes and of the abominations of the earth.” Revelation 17:5

...which is presided over by the devil, “the god [ruler] of this world” John 14:30

WIKI's Page said...

What will the muslim women do, when their husbands are busy with the 70 virgins. Stand at a corner and watch the live shows ?

Simon said...

At wikis page

I couldn't stop laughing at your comment. But I'm sure they will have their turn. Here's my question."Would you rather have a virgin or a non virgin first?"

JP Prasad said...

@David Wood
If women died in Jihad n died,, she will also go to heaven,, does she able to get 70+ virgins of men or women ? did Islamic scriptures mentioned about it ?

Traeh said...

Yahya says: "Men of course will only be in a state of arousal (erection) when with their partners (intimately) and not all the time."

But if they have 72 partners, won't they be busy all the time? Besides, I've heard that 72 is the lowest number of partners those in Paradise will get. Some will have many, many more than 72. And why does the Mohammadan paradise focus only on men's "reward"? Presumably women would not want 72 partners. Why doesn't Islam have anything to say about women in paradise, I mean apart from Muhammad telling us they will predominate in hell because they weren't grateful enough to their husbands. He says that in some Sahih or canonical hadiths.

David Wood said...

Women in Islamic "paradise" will stand in corners, waiting for men to enjoy them.

Sahih al-Bukhari 4879—Allah’s Apostle said: "In Paradise there is a pavilion made of a single hollow pearl sixty miles wide, in each corner of which there are wives who will not see those in the other corners; and the believers will visit and enjoy them."

Mary said...

Unfortunately, that will attract a lot of (pervert) converts to Islam in America, along with all the domestic violence abusers (the term used in psychology) at the Islamic sanctification of totally dominating, controlling, and abusing women and having sex slaves.

Traeh said...

Thank you David, been so long since I've seen that Bukhari hadith I'd forgotten about it.

Nakdimon said...

WOW, stay in your corner until you are clalled for. And when we're done get back in line.....for eternity!

Isnt Islam just swell???

l'Insoumis said...

If most of the women goes to Hell. Where they gonna find all thoses virgins? I suspect allala to have a weird sense of humour.

Charles Martel said...

C'mon guys, you have to admit this musloid is truly funny in his explanations, of course, other than the fact that he is truly pathetic.

It's incomprehensible that people can think like this! Islam is the least spiritual "religion" on earth! They are so empty and dry that the most they can dream of in Paradise is coitus with the infamous 72 virgins.